Submissive people tend to carry a painful past which causes them to be the way they are, not wanting to stand out in order to avoid furthermore suffering. There are several submissive types:
- Submissive, may be brat, little, middle, babygirl, pet. She retains her freedom, is only submissive in the bedroom, she may only show certain characteristics outside in open view of regular public. Does not give up her life or her independence and choices. She has a safe word and submits only based upon session or scene. Can walk away at any time.
- BDSM slave, sees herself as submissive but has a deeper desire to serve outside of the bedroom. Ie every day chores and tasks. She has the head of home in mind at all times, she confirs with him on any household decisions. She submits once and in entirety, she commits to obedience and structure. She gives up control.
- Masochist, these will vary in range from light to extreme depending on the amount of pain that the individual will and can tolerate.
- Gorean slave/kajira, these are the deepest of slaves. They strictly obey and follow the head of home. They give up all control, freedoms and choices. They serve in any and every way that the Owner decides. They are generally first girl of the home, will lead other slaves as well as take care of owner.
- Domme/Mistress, these are the female version of Dominant. They take on role of Top partner, giving instruction, assigning tasks, places, etc. They retain all control as well as take the control of the Bottom partner under her.
- Switch, these are the women who have characteristics of both Top/Domme and Bottom/sub, slave. They can also integrate masochist, as well as little/middle, brat, babygirl, pet, and any other sub branches of female roles. (Definitions were written by TaintDmnDesires)
Submissive people typically don’t raise their voice, they keep themselves in second place and abide by whatever more authoritative people may demand from them. However, this type of attitude can sometimes lead a person into being involved in a harmful and unhealthy relationship. Ultimately, they may become a victim. However, it’s complicated to change this way of being.
It’s not that these type of people don’t want to stop being submissive, but rather because their past experiences have led them to acquire certain psychological traits that they can’t easily get rid of. This leads them into the BDSM lifestyle a lot of the time. It is a secure place they can feel in control.
1. Submissive People Aren’t Assertive
Submissive people do not prioritize their needs or their desires. Instead, they’re always putting others’ needs and desires first. Their lack of assertiveness pushes them to adopt a secondary position in a group job, for example. All of this is due to their great struggle for expressing their point of view or opinions. This is also why they like being submissive to a Dominant in the BDSM world.
Although they may wish to do so, they feel self-conscious and withdraw themselves. They believe that what they think won’t be taken into consideration and even end up doubting their own opinions.
2. Their Past Is Filled With Pain
Submissive people aren’t necessarily born with this way, but instead have gone through experiences that little by little have caused them to withdraw within themselves and become who they are. A childhood where parents have an unhealthy relationship or teenage years filled with constant bullying can be more than enough reasons for someone to take on a totally submissive role.
Low self esteem and insecurity causes them to feel useless unless they offer themselves to others’ disposal. This isn’t healthy for them, because in the long run, they become very vulnerable to being easily harmed. This is why they seek out a Dominant or Daddy figure, so they feel protected.
3. Submissive People Avoid Any Kind of Conflict
We will never see submissive people looking for conflict. On the contrary: they will avoid it at all costs. Conflicts make them very nervous, maybe because it reminds them of a previous experience. It is also why they like spanking for when they have done something wrong, it is a solution / end to the conflict. Plus they feel they need to end the offense they did.
The problem about this is that in order to avoid conflict, they will lower their heads, take on what they aren’t willing to accept and not give themselves the place they deserve. This concern of avoiding any type of conflict or discussion causes a lot of exhaustion.
4. Submissive People Don’t Like to Draw Attention
Some may confuse it with shyness, bit in reality, it’s a way of being unnoticed and a way of not standing out. Submissive people experience great anxiety over what others may think about them. That is why they tend to dress and act in an extremely discrete way. This will guarantee them avoiding any situation that may result humiliating or that may possibly generate some kind of conflict.
5. They Tend to Be Emotionally Dependent
Submissive people tend to think too much about others and are so vulnerable that they need someone to protect them. Therefore, it’s completely natural for them to end up in dependent relationships where the other person gives meaning to their life, like a Dominant or Daddy figure head in the BDSM or Domestic Discipline world, and at the same time it offers protection.
This is also thought to be true for relationships where abuse is present. Even though the other person doesn’t treat them well, in their minds they’re saying, “…at least I have someone”. This is truly a point of view that exposes them to suffering a great deal from their relationships.
Have you been in contact with submissive people? Are you a submissive person? You can break away or embrace it. If you embrace it in the BDSM world, have fun, but be safe! However, breaking away from this state of maximum submission is possible, but it requires hard work and awareness of what is actually going on. After all, submissive people tend to suffer a lot.
Their attitude attracts violent and aggressive people, so if you do embrace the BDSM lifestyle, please be careful of the fake Doms that will not control themselves. Look for a patient, forgiving Dominant. Most submissive individuals do this so much so that with time and some harm they must finally recognize the need to start giving themselves the appreciation they deserve if they do not find a good Dominant that appreciates them for their gift.